Tales from Ghzbd Vol I

What is more difficult, organizing the commonwealth games or a delhi wedding. Sheila Dixit would have you believe they are quite the same. And I think she is not too far from reality. Before we proceed let me clarify this, I don't have any, and I mean not even an incidental experience in organizing weddings. The support for Sheila dixit isn't politically colored either, it just so happens that for the last one and half months I have been managing a project myself which draws a curious commonality with organisation of a wedding - working with dozens of small-time contractors/vendors.

If you can efficiently manage a project dealing with people who are not induced by money/recognition/threat (yes, we had to play this bluff as well) , who don't even understand the concept of simultaneous activities, who refuse to discuss anything in concrete terms preferring always to maintain a haze ("ho jayega aapka kaam" !), who always seem to be biting more than they can chew then organizing bigger projects with well documented scope, timeline and payment terms is no big deal.

There have been so many specific instances of well planned activities going haywire that I have renounced all faith in project management tools. Many are the tricks these contractors play on you. Ranging from 'i am helpless/my laborers have gone missing' - the most ingenious, you can't help but feel sympathetic - to the most ridiculous 'aujar nahi he/barish ho rahi he'.

And while you think you can play good cop bad cop with them, they are playing you on a different level altogether. The contractor will criticise the lazy laborers while the laborers will crib about what an unorganised fool the contractor is. And this mutual appreciation to disorient you doesn't stop here. While the painter will tell you how shoddy the carpenter's work is, the carpenter will use all his leisure time in pointing out the hundreds of flaws in painting of walls. Needless to mention, had they been in my position neither of them would have paid the other person a single penny for the worthless workmanship.

Of course, no matter how bad the work is if at all there was any work during the day, at e.o.d. you are expected to pay them. Because 'majoor ko dihadi chahiye' otherwise they will stop all work. Not that they will go on an indefinite strike or something, they will just go AWOL, and before you know, the contractor will go missing as well. And if some sunny morning the entire jing bang turns up at the site, you are made to realise that they had not fled its just that the mobile fell into water and wasn't working the entire week.

The one thing I have learnt from my experiences - the scale of a project is immaterial, if you are getting something done always go for turnkey solutions.